close
Top Panel
Latest Articles
Top Panel

Who's Online

We have 25 guests online

Our Clients

Login Register





Login
Register

PDF Print E-mail


Editing your writing
(Conciseness - Active Voice - Parallel Construction)

Conciseness

 Keep sentences short:
          ◦ Limit sentences to 20 words or less
          ◦ Try to keep sentences under 12 words
 Use simple words instead of long ones
 Eliminate words that repeat ideas or don’t add value to the sentence
 Remember the “two clause” rule. (see below)


Types of Clauses :
 All clauses have a noun and a verb.
 An independent clause is a complete idea:
       ◦ Mike ran to the store.
       ◦ Jane  set the table.
 A dependent clause isn’t a complete idea:
       ◦ If Mike ran to the store….
       ◦ When Jane set the table….


4 Types of sentences :
A sentence is a complete unit of thought. Sentences can be classified by their structure.

A simple sentence has one independent clause: “Billy ran.” Adding additional descriptors to those two words does not change the main idea: “Billy ran into the school yard.”
A complex sentence has one independent clause and a dependent clause. “Billy ran into the schoolyard when the school bus pulled away.”
A compound sentence has at least two independent clauses joined together. “Billy ran into the school yard and started crying for his mother.”
A compound-complex sentence has two independent clauses and at least one dependent clause with it. “Billy ran into the school yard when the school bus pulled away, and began crying for his mother, who was nowhere to be seen.”


The 2 Clause rule :

 Simple sentence (one independent clause)
◦ The system was down for three hours.
 Complex sentence (one independent clause and two or more dependent clauses)
◦ The system was down for three hours because someone forgot to flip a switch. (two clauses)
◦ If we were late, it was because the system was down for three hours because someone forgot to flip a switch. (four clauses)
 Compound Sentence (two or more independent clauses)
◦ We have contacted you several times, and we have not gotten a response. (two clauses)
◦ We have contacted you several times, and we have not gotten a response, and we are very concerned about this problem. (three clauses)


Exercise :
1-  Shorten these sentences
2- Shorten these phrases


 Active and Passive Voice


Writing with Active and passive voice makes writing clearer and it is essential when writing procedures or instructions , let's look at the difference between active and passive voice :

• Active =  Subject + Verb + Object
Example : John threw the ball.

• Passive = Object + Verb by subject
Example : The ball was thrown by John

Most people prefer to read writing that is in the active voice, especially when you are writing about people. It is easier to read “Robert Green developed a process for constructing new solar homes,” than it is to read, “A new process for developing solar homes was developed by Robert Green.”
In the active voice, the subject of a sentence is the doer of the action. For active sentences, follow the usual word order in your sentences-subject, verb, object. Your sentences will be more interesting and easier to understand.

Examples:

Passive Active
The Exam was thought to be unfair We thought the exam was unfair.
Every shred of evidence to be found was investigated by the detectives The detectives investigated every shred of evidence they could find
The ground was littered after the concert. Garbage littered the grounds after the concert.

Many government documents and the policies of large organizations use the passive voice which sounds quite impersonal. Talking directly to your readers with words like “I, you, we, us, our,” makes your document more personal.
Rather than, “The client can make applications to the Department of Motor Vehicles for licensing before June 1,” write, “You can apply to the Department of Motor Vehicles for your license before June 1.”


Passive Voice

There are times when the passive voice is useful:
• When you must deliver bad news. “The decision to terminate your lease was agreed upon by all members of the committee.”
• Use passive voice when the subject is not important or you don’t know the subject. “The children were delighted by the sudden appearance of a clown.”
• Use passive voice when you aren’t sure who or what is responsible for an action. “Their house was broken into last night.”
• Use passive voice when you want to focus attention on the action, not the doer of the action. “When harvest time approaches, the potato plants are sprayed with a chemical to keep them from sprouting.”

Exercise : Active Voice

Parallel Construction

 Make sure ideas in a series or list are constructed the same way
 Not Parallel: A manager’s job is both rewarding and a challenge.
 Parallel: A manager’s job is both rewarding and challenging.

The two basic rules for constructing sentences are use construction that makes meaning clear and keep construction parallel. Parallel construction means that parts of a sentence that are parallel or balanced in meaning should be parallel or balanced in structure.

For example, if you write, “She likes swimming, running and to play the piano,” to play the piano is a different construction from swimming and running. Write “She likes swimming, running, and playing the piano,” to make the activities parallel in structure.

When Shakespeare has Hamlet say “To die, to sleep, perchance to dream,” he is using parallel structure. Parallelism refers to a series of like grammatical structures—words, phrases, clauses—expressed in repeated grammatical construction.

Exercise : Parallel construction

 

Other articles in this section


 

 


B&W Powered